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              托福寫作真題范文分享

              2020-11-02

                     托福獨立寫作題目


                “Do you think that one needs to take risks to finally reach success,or to keep cautious and careful and take risks less?”

                Do you think that one needs to take risks to finally reach success【審題關鍵詞】,or to keep cautious and careful and take risks less?

                寫作前請一定仔細審題,本題不是單純的比較“冒險”和“小心”,還有一個關鍵的限制是“目的在于最終獲取成功”,如果漏掉了這一關鍵信息,作文很可能出現不夠切題甚至徹底偏題的慘象。

                寫作思路

                敲黑板·劃重點

                introduction不宜長,不宜在進入主題前做長篇累牘的繞彎或鋪墊。過度篇幅的introduction,尤其是鋪墊部分,會給讀者(即人類考官)制造閱讀壓力,打擊讀者的閱讀愿望,引起讀者的反感。

                introduction的結構可能不是最基礎的“引入-論題-立場”結構。在introduction里可能會出現讓步內容(一種特殊的讓步內容位置),之后,作者可以通過轉折來表明自己的立場。

                【本文的introduction就采用了內置讓步內容的方法】

                Many people have the conception that they need to take risks to achieve success.This thought is provoked by the many inspiring stories where entrepreneurs,such as Bill Gates,Steve Jobs,dropped out of college and started their own businesses.Their bold moves are believed to be the key to their accomplishments.However,these successful individuals are the rare individuals.For the overwhelming majority of people,keeping cautious and careful is more rational.

                信息流的順暢/文脈的建立,方式(暗線):指代

                this thought---the conception名詞指代名詞

                their bold moves---dropped out of college名詞指代動詞

                本文的body部分被隱去

                敲黑板·劃重點

                conclusion也不宜長,不要在conclusion里過度重復body里的細節。

                作為一個獨立的段落,有起碼兩句話才是“守規矩”的,不建議考生只寫一句話潦草收尾。

                In conclusion,if a person’s goal is to achieve tremendous success,conservatism may be undesirable,because the greater is the risk,the greater is the reward.However,most people,whose objective is to secure moderate success,should keep cautious and careful.


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